As a substitute of letting poisonous social media comparisons steal your pleasure, dealer Pam Blair writes, embrace what makes you totally different.
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“Comparison is the thief of joy.” — Theodore Roosevelt
It’s 6 p.m. I’m drained however completely happy as I sink into my sofa. The aroma of do-it-yourself pasta sauce lingers within the air. My canine and I took an extended, sunny stroll. Each process on my calendar is checked off. It’s time to calm down.
Then, I begin scrolling.
Inside seconds, my temper plummets. A fellow agent twirls in glittering silver pants, celebrating her newest success. Immediately, my good day feels … much less. Did I do sufficient? Am I sufficient?
Social media works at lightning velocity. A examine from MIT discovered that our brains course of photographs in simply 13 milliseconds. That’s how briskly comparability steals our pleasure.
The inevitable lure of comparability
Social comparability is hardwired into us. In 1954, psychologist Leon Festinger’s social comparability idea revealed our pure urge to judge ourselves in opposition to others. In actual property — an business constructed on relationships — this tendency is amplified.
There are two varieties of social comparability:
- Upward comparability: Taking a look at these forward of us for inspiration.
- Downward comparability: Taking a look at these behind us to really feel higher about ourselves.
As a lifelong overachiever, I’ve spent years measuring myself in opposition to one of the best and brightest. Generally, it fuels me. Different occasions, it drains me.
However right now’s world has modified the sport. Social media has made comparability unavoidable, typically distorting actuality and turning what could possibly be motivation into self-doubt.
The darkish aspect of social comparability
Social media offers us curated glimpses of others’ lives, not actuality. This fixed publicity can result in what psychologists name social comparability syndrome — or as some have coined it, obsessive comparability dysfunction.
Signs embody:
- Low shallowness
- Anxiousness and melancholy
- Envy and resentment
- Emotions of inadequacy
- Physique-image points
- Social isolation
Even in the event you’re not a giant scroller, societal strain is all over the place. So how will we hold comparability from stealing our pleasure?
5 methods to handle social comparability
1. Follow the pause
Earlier than mindlessly scrolling, take a deep breath. Ask your self: Do I actually wish to go down this rabbit gap? A ten-second pause may help you make a aware alternative reasonably than an impulsive one.
2. Restrict social media use
Consciousness is essential. Monitor how a lot time you spend scrolling. Set a timer if wanted. The aim isn’t to eradicate social media however to regulate its impression in your mindset.
3. Be a creator, not only a client
I put up virtually every day, however I restrict my scrolling to simply 5 posts. This self-discipline lets me interact with out being sucked into the comparability lure.
4. Follow gratitude
Comparability thrives on a not-enough mindset. Gratitude is the antidote. Write down three stuff you’re grateful for every day. It shifts your focus from what you lack to what you have got.
5. Set objectives, and rejoice wins
Clear, sensible objectives hold you grounded in your journey — not another person’s spotlight reel. I create yearly, month-to-month and every day objectives, preserving a imaginative and prescient board close by for perspective. And once I hit a milestone? I rejoice — whether or not it’s a pleasant dinner or a brand new toy for my canine.
Personal your distinctive path
In an business the place success is usually outlined by numbers, it’s straightforward to get caught up as compared. However actual property isn’t one-size-fits-all. The great thing about this enterprise is that there are infinite methods to succeed.
As a substitute of letting comparability steal your pleasure, embrace what makes you totally different. Elevate others up. Rejoice your wins. And keep in mind: Your journey is yours alone.
