Spoiler alert! The following post discusses important plot points and the ending of “Euphoria.”
The latest season of the controversial HBO series “Euphoria” explored the demise of a fan-favorite friendship between high schoolers, Cassie (Sydney Sweeney) and Maddy (Alexa Demie), after Cassie secretly dates her best friend’s ex-boyfriend , Nate (Jacob Elordi).
All season long, viewers anticipated Maddy would enact her revenge. But instead, Sunday’s season finale showcased an even more heartbreaking confrontation — anger dissipated into disappointment, as the sister-like best friends became strangers to each other.
“I related to Maddy’s heartbreak a lot,” says 20-year-old “Euphoria” fan Taylor Bowlin. In high school, her boyfriend cheated with her best friend, which triggered years of loneliness and trust issues.
“It took years to heal. I just wanted my best friend to remain my best friend… but I was in denial. I couldn’t stand to admit the truth of my childhood best friend actually doing this to me.”
The reality is, the feelings associated with breakups and heartbreaks don’t only display with romantic partners. In many instances, it can be just as painful to break up with a best friend, according to Terri Orbuch, author of “Secrets to Surviving Your Children’s Love Relationships.”
“Just like romantic relationships, we also pour our hearts out to our friends, and share personal often confidential information with them,” Orbuch explains. “When the friendship doesn’t work out, we feel rejected… We feel hurt when we value others and they don’t attach the same value to us. And it is typically our close friends and romantic partners who cause us hurt feelings the most.”
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‘It was really hurtful because I would never do that to her.’
Similarly, Elise McGovern and her best friend had always supported each other. McGovern had held her friend when she cried, helped her move into her new apartment and comforted her after a devastating break-up.
So she never expected her closest friend would sleep with her ex boyfriend.
“I had been there for her and I just felt betrayed,” says McGovern, 22. “She stabbed me in the back, and it was really hurtful because I would never do that to her.”
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Our society assumes a good friend will be trustworthy, loyal and respectful. That’s why when those we trust the most betray us, it hurts even more.
“The closer the friendship, the more painful the hurt after a betrayal. And when you feel hurt and like the other friend doesn’t have your best interests at heart, it’s hard to still be someone’s close friend,” Orbuch says, adding that the experience can lead to mental health consequences, like anxiety and depression, and impact other interpersonal relationships.
When is the friendship worth repairing?
Forgiveness after betrayal is possible. At the very least, this would involve a sincere apology that admits responsibility and discussing how things will change in the future.
However, Orbuch cautions that forgiveness does not equate to reconciliation.
“Forgiveness helps the person who has been betrayed, because when you forgive someone, the harmful action is acknowledged but not forgotten, and you can decide to let go of revenge,” she says. “But that doesn’t mean you can develop the same friendship with the friend.”
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In McGovern’s experience, she “immediately” cut her former friend out of her life once she found out about the betrayal.
“There was no friendship to mend. I could never forget my best friend doing that to me, nor could I ever trust her again. I know boys shouldn’t ruin a friendship, but it’s about the betrayal.”
Bowlin also distanced herself after three years of trying to repair the friendship.
“I couldn’t find it myself to just let it go and forgive this betrayal, and I had to realize a real best friend wouldn’t do that to you.”
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Ending a friendship can be emotionally difficult, but Orbuch says it’s important to cut toxic people out of your life, and know how to do so correctly.
First, acknowledge the betrayal, she says. Be sure to show yourself compassion and avoid blaming yourself along the way, she adds.
Orbuch says the dissolution of a toxic friendship can be eye-opening. Ask yourself: What can I learn from this experience?
And most importantly, she says, as you move forward, surround yourself with people who truly love and support you.
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This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: ‘Euphoria’ finale: Cassie, Maddy and the trauma of toxic friendships
