Chrishell Stause is opening up about her past relationships and how they relate to each other.
In her upcoming memoir, Under Construction, the Selling Sunset star compares her marriage with Justin Hartley to her romance with Dancing with the Stars pro Keo Motsepe last year, according to an excerpt from the book published by E! News.
In the passage, Stause, 40, claimed both of her exes “love bombed” her, a concept described by Psychology Today as “the practice of overwhelming someone with signs of adoration and attraction,” with the end goal being manipulation.
Stause wed This Is Us star Hartley in 2017 after about four years of dating. Two years later, Hartley filed for divorce in November 2019 — ending his marriage to Stause, she said, over a text message.
The former couple settled their divorce and had a judge sign off on the documents on Feb. 8, 2021, PEOPLE confirmed at the time.
JC Olivera/WireImage Chrishell Stause Hartley and Justin Hartley
“The last thing I want to do is rehash old wounds but being so far away from it now I can see that what happened was a gift,” Stause wrote in her book of her relationship with Hartley, 44. “Now I understand much more clearly how I deserve to be treated. When someone is in love, it’s hard to convince that person that the relationship isn’t right.”
She added, “Even if he’s waving red flags like a bullfighter to everyone around you, you’re the girl striding right up to him, oblivious to any impending danger. You’re too distracted and in your own world to listen.”
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Chrishell Stause/Instagram Chrishell Stause and Keo Motsepe
The reality star did not name Motsepe, 32, in the book excerpt, but noted that she met a dancer after her divorce who was a similar “type” to Hartley.
“Did I learn from my mistakes after Justin? Well, when it comes to love I’m still a work in progress,” she wrote. “I did fall for another love bomber not long after my divorce, and we were quickly heading toward real commitment. He was a tall dancer, and he started off as this amazing, positive, generous guy.”
“I took him home for Christmas to meet my family,” Stause continued. “After the honeymoon phase, though, things took a turn. This time, instead of making excuses for his behavior, I actually opened my eyes, pushed past the smoke and mirrors, and saw the truth. I’d gotten stronger, and as soon as I realized how deep his apparent lies went, I was the one who ended it.”
“While it hurt, I was able to put it all behind me quickly. Before him, after a breakup I usually couldn’t eat or sleep, but this time was much different. I took care of myself, I kept busy, and I felt strong knowing that I’d done the right thing for me. Instead of feeling sorry for myself after we broke up, I felt empowered,” she concluded.
Under Construction hits shelves Feb. 8.